Written by
Helena Dang
Being a designer already feels like a roller coaster. Fast deadlines, moments when my brain just stops, and way too much worrying about which font to use. Now add bipolar disorder to the ride. Same roller coaster, except sometimes it flips upside down.
The sleepless part
For months I couldn’t sleep. Not the fun kind of no sleep, where you watched a whole season in one night. The kind where you lie in bed staring at the ceiling while your brain runs a marathon nobody signed up for.
It got bad enough that my family and friends started to worry, especially when the headaches started. So, like any sensible adult (after a healthy amount of denial, of course), I went to the hospital. I thought I just needed some sleeping pills.
Plot twist
It wasn’t just insomnia. My brain was hosting a non-stop thought festival, sponsored by bipolar disorder and anxiety. Yay, me.
What helped
First, the boring and important stuff: therapy, medication, and routines that work for me. Not for a wellness influencer. For me.
Then the less obvious stuff. Planting trees, because apparently I survive by giving the planet a little extra oxygen. Time with my cats. And cleaning. There’s something about mopping a floor that makes me feel in control of at least one thing in life.
The real MVP
My people. In the low months, when I was lying there in full potato mode, my family and friends showed up. They sat with me in silence. They gently nudged me toward things that might help. They called just to talk. Never pushing, just there. That’s love, honestly.
If this is you
If you’re in a fight with bipolar disorder or depression, I see you. Talk to a professional if you can, and let your people in.
This life is worth living. And on the days when nothing else works, there are still trees to plant, cats to hug and floors to mop.